I'm trying to make this the least conspicuous, because I really want a blog I can just WRITE whatever the fuck I want and not have to worry about who sees it. Part of it is of course, if the right people see it then a huge lift has been taken off my chest but for now, I just need to voice how I feel. I need a place to do this, so I'm doing it here.

Soon.

I'm writing an essay, or at least I should be.

I've been quite sad recently, since, I essentially got my heart broken.

I suppose what sucks the most about it is because the relationship would have been awesome and the individual had essentially everything I wanted in the person.

What sucked more is that I was looking into going to university there, and visiting during the holidays, and changing my phone plan so we could talk whenever they wanted.

I have to spend less time trying to become someone's prince, honestly.

It just hurts so much more in the end. I even cancelled a job interview to see them for 15 minutes, lawl.

WHY SHANE. WHY DO YOU DO THIS.

Well, we talked about it in therapy - so, now you understand but it still sucks, you know?

I don't know if I'm ever going to not like them, and that's a problem.

I am really upset when I speak to them, but I pretend that I'm not.

I don't know what to do, part of me wants/is moving on and part of me hopes he'll wake up and choose me.

But I know I'm being stupid.

It just sucks.