What if it isn't enough?

What if it wasn't enough to be who you are?

We are constantly being told that it is better to be true to ourselves and be happy with ourselves then try and change for someone else. What if it's not enough to be who you truly are? If I were who I truly am, I probably wouldn't be very fun to hang around with. I'm the isolated type, and I enjoy being that way but due to the fact, people enjoy my company I purposely become social for the benefits of others when I'd much rather be at home, writing. It makes me wonder why people say to be 100% yourself then. When we all know that in some shape or form, we change in order to adapt to our surroundings even when we'd rather not. It's easier to keep things or thoughts to ourselves then to talk them out or explain them with others. It's easier to be isolated, so why do we purposely attach ourselves to social events?

"I'm anti-social, but I'm naturally sociable. "

If we'd rather be doing something else, why do we put up with our current situation. It's incredibly fascinating the lengths we go too in order to feel or in order not to feel. Sometimes, I'll go to a get together with people that I hardly know because I was simply invited and feel that it's unnecessary to cancel. I don't even know why, because I'd much rather be at home. My theory is that, the people around me have no idea how they feel or what they feel. They have no idea how to express their thoughts and ideas and thus end up drowning it with non-stop "parties". Whereas, me being a particularly popular male would rather spend his time alone in his house. No, I'm not depressed. The feeling of choosing to be by yourself is an incredible connection, it's almost annoying to be around people who have no idea how to connect with themselves but constantly attempt to connect with others. If only they took the time to get to know themselves more, they would see that it's a different feelings to be one with yourself. Without it, there's no way you can be one with another. Once you have an internal connection, you begin to look at things differently, including people. I believe this is why I am the person I am and the reason I can't be happy with another person.

"There's passion, and love and the constant throbbing in my head when I think of you. . .but it's a waste of time if you aren't feeling the way."

But if you're happy with yourself, then you can learn to be happy entirely.


-ヒロト
Hiroto K